February 9, 2010

Procrastination Purgatory or Something Else?

As I learn more about me through a program called “Women Like Me,” I’ve discovered that the structures and systems in my life are out of sync and a bit overwhelming. I’ve known for awhile that I need to be doing something professionally that is in alignment with my passions…I’m getting there, but all I see right now is the ginormous elephant.

I’ve commented on several blog posts written by others that I’m seriously out of synch with my 9-5 day job. I’ve been out of sync with it since 2005. After my entire group was layed off and I was sitting on a chunk of change that would have seen me through at least six months comfortably or eight months if tightened up the purse strings, I wondered if going back to corporate America was the right thing for me. I wanted off the crazy train of companies filing bankruptcy and office politics. I wanted to make a difference but didn’t know how to make the shift in my mind or in my career. I was stumped.

So I booked a five day vacation to Los Angeles to spend time with a dear friend of mine. And I had my last breast cancer remodeling surgery. Two weeks before my surgery, I sifted through jobs on monster.com and found a position that fit me to a T and it was only for three months. I applied.

No joke. Twenty minutes later, an HR rep called me and said, “I have a BETTER job for you!” Really?  You do?  My ego went nuts!  A. Better. Job!

I passed the phone interview with flying colors.  I met with the hiring manager. I thought to myself, “I don’t need this job.  I don’t want this job.” I gave everyone what I thought was a “is she freaking nuts?” salary requirement. They hired me.

But it was only for three months!  I can do anything for ninety days, right? They extended my contract. I accepted. My ego liked the money. I could support my lifestyle and my children without a hiccup and without tightening the purse strings. I thought I needed life the way I had ordered it after divorce and after breast cancer.

But the friction inside me gnawed at my heart.

In 2006, I decided to sell my house and live off the equity while I got certified to teach yoga and become all earthy crunchy. Only God had other plans.

Richard entered my life in April 2006. Wham! My life flipped upside down in the best possible way for me. Saying Yes to Richard and all that he brought into my life, also meant that I had to put the shift in my professional career on hold. I was ok with that.

At work, I switched contracts. In fact, the day Richard contacted me was the same day I was let go from my original contract.  I was beyond ecstatic. Thrilled to be let go?  You betcha! Two weeks later, right before my last day, I was offered work on another project. I accepted…but only for the summer. That was nearly four years ago.  In fact, I’ll be with my company for five years on March 1, 2010. What started out as a ninety day contract has turned into five years…or roughly 1,216 days…or 9,728 hours…or 583,680 minutes…or 35,020,800 seconds (I think I did the math right…correct me if I multiplied when I should have divided or applied a Pythagorian theorem)

In 2008 I started my yoga teacher training journey and received my certification in 2009. I jumped head first into my advanced yoga teacher training and will have my 500 hour level certification completed this June. Late last year I took two writing classes to learn how to write a query letter and then hone my writing skills to get published. I haven’t really touched my writing project since early December. Procrastination? My own self as judge and jury? Echos of a previous husband saying “you’re not that good anyway..”? All the pressure I put on myself to write it right the first time?

My life with Richard is solid but my professional career is a mess. We don’t live beyond our means but we are both accustomed to the income I bring home. I am the major bread winner.

How do I make the shift to doing what I want to do without upsetting the financial apple cart? How do I leave something that saps the energy from my soul but is so easy to do that walking away seems like the stupidest thing on earth?

February 7, 2010

Your Moment of Bliss

Dinner in Venice © Peggy Nolan 2007-2010

This was just the beginning of a romantic evening shared by two in a city of thousands…

February 5, 2010

A Blog Post Must Read

My friend, Angelia Sims, has an incredibly insightful post today that I’ve declared a MUST READ.  Here’s an excerpt…

In light of the recent women’s retreat, I have had some issues on my mind. We spent a better part of the weekend learning about what kind of woman NOT to be. The immoral woman. The indiscreet woman. The irritating woman.

As the descriptions unfolded I heard the gasps around me. I heard the shocking cries about these terrible women. I could feel the JUDGMENT in the very large room, and the underlying hint of anger at their actions and corruptions.

Friends, it did not make me feel righteous. Truth is, I have been all three of those women in my lifetime. I’ve been in some of those places they described. I’m not proud of it. Not at all. But know this – because of that – I don’t see people the same way as others, at least most of the time anyway. I guess it makes me different (or maybe I’m not?). I know to me it hurts to shame women with opinions I have no right to behold. Maybe there is another story behind their actions, behind their clothes, behind their situation. Have you ever considered this?

To read more, visit her post, “When I See A Woman.”  You’ll be glad you did. No comments necessary here…please leave them on Angelia’s post.

In other news…I’ve done a bit of redecorating…a new wordpress theme to coincide with my 201st post (which really isn’t my post, just a nudge so y’all go read Angelia’s post…and no, she’s not paying me with money or brownies to say nice things…I just know good writing when I read it!) At any rate, I hope you like how I’ve re-arranged the furniture!

Enjoy your weekend!

February 3, 2010

Party Like It’s My 200th Blog Post!

Serendipity Smiles 200th Blog Post!

It IS my 200th blog post so let’s party! Perhaps I should have planned a bit better, but there’s cake, fruit punch, beer in the cooler, good tunes playing and some of the best bloggers and friends a girl could ask for.  Now, I’m one of those quote collectors and since we can’t all party in person, I asked you to send me your favorite quotes…and you did!

Brenda Pearson sent the first awesome quote: “Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential” ~ Winston Churchill

Megan “Joy Girl!” Bord sent me this “If you run away, your problems will run after you. Be undisturbed by a situation, and it will fall away of its own weight.” Florence Scovel  Shinn

Angelia Sims digs Elbert Hubert’s “The supreme prayer of my heart is not to be learned, rich, famous, powerful, or good, but simply to be radiant. I desire to radiate health, cheerfulness, calm courage, and good will. I wish to live without hate, whim, jealousy, envy, fear. I wish to be simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind and clean in body, unaffected, as ready to say I do not know, if it be so, and to meet all men on an absolute equality, to face any obstacle and meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid. I wish others to live their lives, too – up to their highest, fullest, and best. To that end I pray that I may never meddle, interfere, dictate, give advice that is not wanted, or assist when my services are not needed. If I can help people, I’ll do it by giving them a chance to help themselves; and if I can uplift or inspire, let it be by example, inference, and suggestion, rather than by injunction and dictation. That is to say, I desire to be radiant – to radiate life.”

Nadia from Happy Lotus sent me two quotes! “If there is a solution to your problem, then there is no need to worry. If there is no solution to your problem, then there still is no need to worry.” ~ Shantideva

And “Genuine, human friends stand by whether you are successful or unlucky and always share your sorrow and burdens. The way to make such friends is not by being angry, nor by having good education or intelligence, but by having a good heart.” ~ Dali Lama

Wilma Ham’s favorite quote is from Humberto Maturana; “Love is the only emotion that expands intelligence.”  Wilma wrote, “I absolutely adore that quote, because when I am anxious I become stupid but when I love what I do, I do notice my increased ability to come up with intelligent actions and solutions. Also in a loving environment I learn a lot better.”

One of my stepmom sisters, Stacy sent me this fabulous quote from her iPhone: “If we couldn’t laugh, we would all go insane.” – Jimmy Buffet

Karen Myers, one of my Wednesday night yoga students sent me this great quote: “Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.”

SuZen sent me this loving acceptance quote by Robert Frost: “Always fall in love with what you are asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever is going. Not against: with.”

Marina sent me one of my favorites: “Follow your bliss.” ~ Joseph Campbell

My good friend Maureen Campaiola, widely known in my neck of the woods as The Dare Coach, sent me this: “You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.” Elizabeth Gilbert, “Eat, Pray, Love”

Ellen sent this phenomenal quote  she read in a magazine: “Just when you think your world is falling apart, it might actually be falling in place.” (HOW TRUE!)

Jodi Sloane sent me this gem: “Love the moment and the energy of that moment will spread beyond all boundaries.” Corita Kent

Thank you all for sharing your awesome quotes!  Now…let’s have some cake and icecream!


February 2, 2010

Going Up

I am thrilled to have Lance Ekum from Jungle of Life guest post today!  How many times have you gotten on the elevator only to get off on the wrong floor? How many times have you started off in a direction and realized “this isn’t where I want to be going?”  Read and enjoy!

©photo credit: bogenfreund

“If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster” ~ Stephen R. Covey

Today I take you back several years, back to the summer of 2000.  My family and I were vacationing in Washington, D.C.  As luck would have it, we found an amazing deal on a hotel right downtown.  Bright lights, big city!  What a great place to keep us close to visiting some of the historic and treasured landmarks in this storied place!

Our trip was wonderful (although short), and the time came for us to leave.  We packed up our bags, and headed for the elevator, my wife, Lora, and I – three kids in tow.  I had all our luggage.  Lora had our youngest son (he was a bit over one year old), and the other two kiddos each had a little backpack of their own.  We pressed the button, and the elevator soon arrived.  This was the biggest, nicest, most gorgeous elevator we had ever ridden.  I think we could have fit a small army in there!  Mirrors on all sides.  A large comfy bench in the back to sit down on.  Ooh, that bench.  How could two small kids pass that up?  They were there…instantly!

And down the elevator went.  The doors opened on the ground floor.  Lora stepped off (baby in tow).  I stepped out with all our luggage.  Our older son, Jakob, came running out.  We started to walk toward the front desk.

As the doors to the elevator were closing, Jakob said words that immediately haunted us.

“What about Bekah?”

She was still on that bench, in the back of the elevator.  Frantically, we pressed the button to see if the door would open.  Gone!

Great big elevator.  Great big city.

And then we heard it.  Screams.  As the elevator went up.  Lora handed me the baby, and headed for the stairs.  I think she followed the screams, because she stopped at the fourth floor, and two gentlemen were waiting for the elevator.  They could tell.  A mother without her child!  They told her the doors opened, and all they saw was a screaming little girl.  There was no way they were getting on.

Luckily, the elevator returned to the ground floor.  I was there to greet a screaming, crying three year old girl.  Relief!

Life and The Directions We Go

Have you ever been going up, and just felt that even though you were going in an upward direction, that it really might not be the right direction?

Listen to your heart.  “Up” is only right if it aligns with who you are and what really matters to you.  Life is fleeting.  Choose your life elevators with care.  And if you happen to get on one that’s not the right one for you, remember that you can always get off, and choose another.

Live abundantly in this amazing life journey you are on!