What are you afraid of? That is today’s Group Blog Thursday question and for the better part of today, I’ve been thinking about this.
Kudos to Steph for such a great blog prompt!
What are you afraid of?
- Being alone
- Not being good enough
- Failure
- Success
- Feeling unloved
- Not having your parents approval
- Not getting promoted
- He won’t call again
- She won’t go out with me
- Commitment
- Divorce
- Raising kids
- Confrontation
- Trying something new
- Making a change
- Thinking differently
- Making better decisions
- Hurting someone’s feelings
- Not being liked
I could keep going with this list.
What are you afraid of?
When I was going through my divorce, I thought the world had ended and I would surely die from a broken heart. After nineteen years of marriage, this was a tough change and it scared the daylights (and nightlights) out of me! But I struggled and persevered! I came through the other side 180 pounds lighter (no, I didn’t lose that much weight!) and surprisingly enough, I didn’t die from a broken heart. I mended that just fine all by myself.
What are you afraid of?
Shortly after I received my divorce diploma, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Talk about scary stuff! Something I could really die from. Scared? You betcha! I have a whole list of things I was scared about. What scared me most was not being around to do all the things I hadn’t done yet
- See my daughters graduate from high school and college
- Shop for wedding dresses with my daughters
- Watch my daughters walk down the aisle and say “I Do”
- Hold my grandbabies
- Find my own Truly Madly Deeply
- Travel all over the world
- Become who I’m supposed to be
The list I originally wrote in my poem, Can’t Die Mom, is longer…a lot longer…but as I go through the list of everything I was afraid of not doing, I realize I have done it or I am doing it! Why? Because my fear turned to courage. Fear was the catalyst that showed me the way to find my courage (thank you Joan Chittister!)
- I witnessed Jessica graduate from college in 2006.
- I watched as Christina received her high school diploma in 2006.
- I’ve shopped for wedding dresses with Jessica, Katie, and Kelly (Katie and Kelly are my stepdaughters) and I know I’ll be shopping with Christina when it’s her turn.
- I sat in the front row as Katie said “I do” to Jon…and it won’t be long before I see Jessica married to Noel and Kelly married to Dave.
- Olivia, my first grand-baby was born June 15, 2009. I was there in the waiting room when she was born and 30 minutes later, she was in my arms.
- I found my Truly Madly Deeply in Richard…the man who once was the boy I first fell in love with…
- Travel? Oh my…we travel! Since Richard and I got married in 2006 we’ve been to Orlando, Fl, Italy, Charleston, SC, Ft. Myers, Fl (twice – we vacation there in the winter), Turks and Caicos, and next year we’ve got Florida, Ireland and Utah on the radar.
- And I’m pretty sure I’m on the path of becoming who I’m supposed to be.
What are you afraid of? What roadblocks and excuses are you making up inside your head that stops you from being the best you? Are you willing to allow your fear to guide you to your courage?
Wow. You’ve been through so much. I can’t imagine coming out of a divorce to learn you have breast cancer. You’re a true survivor!
Hi Steph! Thanks so much for such a great blog prompt!
Way to kick those fears to the curb, Peggy.
Thank you Alissa!
I’ve though about what scares me. It scares me to think about it.
On a serious note. I used to think I was afraid of failure, like most people, but I don’t think I am afraid of failure as much as I am afraid of success.
I have been told for a great number of years that I have great talent in a couple different areas. I have taken steps toward where I want to be in life, but as soon as the picture becomes more clear, I back down.
I am afraid of letting go of what is now. My boys are not grown yet. They have very important years ahead, still at home. I am afraid that if things were to go as I wanted them to, that I would have to sacrafice being here for them emotionally when they needed me most.
I am torn. For to love them, I need to also love myself. I need to trust myself to teach them how to do the same. I need to conquer my fears and step outside my comfort zones so that I may be an example for them.
Since I was a teenager I’ve written about following your dreams, never losing site of what is important, and “Dream the Impossible Dream.” I have accomplished more than most in my first 40 years, but I want to be much further than where I am. It is time I started taking my own advice.
Conquerring my fears is a challenge, but with each day I reinforce the beliefs I have in myself. One day soon, I will arrive.
Missy Bell
Hi Missy – boy do we need to talk! I’m here to tell you that you can do both – you can follow your dreams AND be there for your boys! When you make choices and decisions that are right for you, they really do end up being right for everyone else in your family. Think of the life lessons your boys will learn sooner than you and me! Just take a look at what your nieces, Jessica and Christina are doing…they learned a few things far sooner than I ever did!
xxoo
Wow, Peggy! Great list.
What am I afraid of? I’ve never been very afraid. I am actually more afraid as I get older (and maybe know more things).
The top ones would be.
*my negative workplace is going to change me for the worse
*whether Jason will propose or not (soon)
*Superman Tower of power ride at Six Flags
*not raising my daughter the right way
*my current credit situation from ex-husband #2
*my iPhone that I accidentally dropped in the toilet tonight
*missing out from being too preoccupied
I know these are things I can work on. Thank you!
Ang! Holy Cow…time to get you out of that negative workspace! And I have a sneaky suspicion that Jason will ask sooner rather than later
I’ve been on the Superman Tower of Power ~ scared the poop out of me, but my gosh, it was FUN! Trust yourself – you are raising your daughter the right way! Your credit situation can be resolved – temporary issue. Too bad for your iPhone…down the toliet…UGH! And finally – be present in the moment and you’ll never miss out 
(takes practice, but it’s so worth it!)
xxoo
You are so friggin amazing…
I’m afraid of failure. Period.
Back at ya Tess, because I think you are friggin amazing!
I still get those twinges of fearing failure. Writing for a living scares the pants off me (so I wear a skirt instead). Can I do it? Can I make it happen? But what I’ve learned about being afraid to fail is that in my effort to achieve perfection, I lose the lesson. So…as much as I dislike the discomfort of failing, I’m willing to “fail forward.” And hopefully I’ll learn a few things along the way!
xxoo
Peggy,
Yahoo!!! Great post! I love that your fear turned into courage and how amazing and wonderful that you can look at your list of things you were afraid to miss and check them all off. You counquered your life in so many ways–you are truly one of the living.
My fear is/was failure. Fear of failing my marriage and my children, mostly. I have chanelled that into very positive growth. I am mostly over this fear but as my boys are still young, part of me is still holding my breath. But mostly I’m confident I’m doing things right and with a full heart, so all will turn out for the best.
Happy Friday! Jodi
Hi Jodi! Your light shines bright ~ I believe you are doing things right and with a full heart!
It was sooooo good to “see” you here today!!
This was incredibly inspiring for me. Thank you for sharing.
You are so welcome! Thank YOU for stopping by today!
Hi Peggy! I am so thrilled for you that fear no longer rules your life. I had all sorts of fears when I was younger. I let go of them. They became too heavy to carry and most of them started to stink up my life. I thought I’d conquered fear. Not so much.
My greatest (latest) fear was in 2003 when my son left for the invasion of Iraq. I was terrified of losing him, of him not having a chance to grow up (he was 20). I worried myself into the hospital, had some life altering surgery and emerged with a whole renewed attitude. I am tremendously grateful for the whole experience. Facing death, as you entertained that possibility too, does wonders for your perspective on life, doesn’t it? It changes everything!
My life is full. There is no room for fear or worry. I won’t let it in – period. Call me the cocked -eyed optimistic, but I think everything happens for a reason and fear/worry is a total waste of mental/emotional energy. It shouldn’t take going thru what you and I did to put fear in the garbage! We are “enough” – we are loved – we are fearless. Great recipe for the duration!
Hi SuZen! You’re the cock-eyed optimist and I’m stubbornly optimistic…we’re a pair aren’t we?
And you are right…it shouldn’t take what we’ve both been through to banish all fears!
Direct from the heart here:
I’m afraid of living on my own – but soon I will be.
And spiders – I am phobic.
Peggy – good blog – poignant question requiring truth.
Please read my new posting – I think you will enjoy it and you will get to know me a bit better.
Cheers !
Hi Marsha,
I was once afraid of living on my own as a single mom…but I did it. I really didn’t have a choice…I had to do it. And I know you will be ok and every day will be better than the last.
I loved your recent post!
Fear – 3.5 years ago, after leaving corporate I was so desperate with myself, tired of fear I looked at my husband and said “What am I so friggin afraid of?” And so began a 3 year journey into fear.
Probably the most prominent was my fear of being judged for having an opinion that was different than someone else. I spent many years “quiet”. No more!
Like Missy I used to think I was afraid of failing, but I’ve comet to realize I’m more afraid of success. Because success means you potentially have to “leave people behind”.
You are an inspiration with your stories and your openness to share!
Hi Stacey! So many of us are afraid of success! My first marriage ended because I kept learning and growing and my ex did not. I was never afraid of leaving him behind but he was afraid of being left behind so he left.
I don’t think we leave people behind when we’re successful. I think people chose not to travel with us on our way. Instead of cheering us on, some want to drag us back down, keep us where we were (because that’s comfortable and known).
Your light is supposed to shine bold and bright!
Haha, don’t you love Tess, bold and to the point.
Not me, not short and sweet as I haven’t got a clue where to start to be honest, but I am scared to live life full on I think.
I am scared to show up, to show all of me and to say I am great and I love you.
I am scared for rejection and ridicule, I think, so I keep quiet and then afterwards give myself hell for not having said this or done that.
Although when I really am in the zone, I have performed on stage for people and let totally rip in presentations and I have showed a lot of me then.
I am scared at a personal level I think, but luckily not with my partner. Hmm, Peggy, this requires some thinking, however that is all good.
I am determined NOT to wait till kick started by a life threatening situation as per SuZen and you.
Hi Wilma! I used to keep quiet, too. And the fear of rejection loomed large in my life because my ex had a serial cheating problem. I was afraid of not being “good enough.” One day, after months (a few years maybe!) of teeth gnashing about in my head, I decided I was better than good enough and was worthy and deserving. And so are you, Wilma. You are better than good enough and you are worthy and deserving!!
Hi Peggy,
What a great question. I think for me the thing that I would be afraid of is not making the best out of what I have. Meaning not making the most out of the talent and qualities that I have and cultivating them to create more of a life that is in tune with who I truly am.
For most of my past, I was always trying to please everyone and even though, I did do what I wanted on the side, I always felt that I was holding myself back out of fear of shining.
It is like Marianne Williamson said…we are meant to shine but we are scared to shine. With time, I got over the “disease to please” (as Oprah calls it) and started to just be at peace with being my true self. I am sure that I threaten some people because I just am following my heart but I have never felt more free. I just hope and pray that it continues.
Peggy, your story is such in inspiration! Thank you for being so open with us and sharing different pieces of it along the way.
I am fortunately at an age when i am not fearful of anything much. Oh the sight of a spider will still take my breath away but all those other things? Well, I’m just not afraid any more. I’ve faced my own dragons and lived through it well, thank you very much, and become stronger for it. When you face down enough dragons you realize they are mostly like that scene in the Wizard of Oz, where the great and powerful Oz was nothing more than smoke and mirrors. So it seems to be with our fears. If you look behind the curtain, you see they aren’t all that powerful, and YOU are wearing the ruby slippers that make you all powerful over your life!
A wonderful post. Blessings to you and kudos to you for turning your life around so magnificently…..xo