What’s Your Excuse?
I’ve been reading a number of blog articles about knowing versus doing. And it’s certainly striking a nerve in our community of like minded bloggers! It’s causing most of us to reassess and take a self-inventory. Are we walking our talk or just blabbing on and on?
I recently signed on to do the NaNoWriMo challenge – write a 50,000 word novel in thirty days. The challenge’s mission is to help aspiring writers to get out of their head and out of their own way. I know a few aspiring writers. I’m one of them. One of my very published writer blogger friends signed up – and it was through her that I signed up. Hec, if DJ Kirkby can do this, so can I. And she has Asperger’s! (Check out her blog if you really want to see what her obstacles are…this woman inspires me every darn day!)
I have another aspiring writer friend who is in my stepmom posse. I so want her to get out of her own way. She says wants to be a writer but her actions oppose what she says she wants.
And that got me to thinking. What am I saying that’s in direct opposition to what I’m actually doing?
Not to long ago I posted about how I’m a certified yoga teacher and well on my way to becoming a sensei in the martial arts. That nothing in this world would bring me more joy than to be a Teacher with a capital T.
The Universe delivers on HER time table. Not on yours and certainly not on mine.
This past Thursday I was asked by my sensei if I would be interested in teaching and being a program director at the martial arts studio I belong to. They need a business savvy person who can teach. I was the first person sensei thought of. I nearly jumped through my skin. Excited? You betcha! Scared to death? Yup!
Why am I scared? Isn’t this exactly what I want? I’m not scared of doing it or being it. I’m scared of the transition from my stale and soul-less day job that quite frankly brings in an income that’s tough to say NO to. But I’m not about money. I never have been.
How do I go from making X to making half of X?
Once upon at time I went from making 1/4 of X to X. It took fifteen years of going to school and working my way up an invisible ladder. Hec, I even went and got a masters degree!
And now here I am, seven years into my yoga journey and nearly three years into my martial arts journey (six if you include the three years in the mid 1990′s when I practiced Tae-Kwon-Do) and the Universe is delivering NOW.
Right now. My inner wheels have been burning the midnight oil. I can’t keep up with half the ideas that are flooding my waking brain. Because surely I’ll have to find a way to make up for a portion of the loss of income. From writing? From monetizing a blog? From the genius of my own creativity?
Right now. I’m waging war against my inner demons. You know, those crappy little noodges that speak ugly things, “You’re not good enough.” “No one will ever buy that.” “Who wants to read what you write anyway?” Shuddup already!
I’ve caught myself bargining with myself. Perhaps I can stradle the fence with one foot in the martial arts studio and one foot in my boring but well paid job? I can write in the morning. I can create my photo art after my husband goes to bed. Sleep is overrated right? Did I mention that I’m starting a monthly radio show for stepmoms? And that novel I signed up to write in November? (Thank goodness spelling and grammar don’t count!) And how do I pacify my travel habit? I already know I’m going to Florida, Ireland and Utah all before June 1, 2010! I suppose I can sleep when I’m dead.
How do I act on what the Universe is delivering…right now?
My husband, bless his heart, is all about me doing what makes me happy.
And I’m happiest when I’m creating, teaching, and traveling.
________
Just a little update: After Thai Kickboxing class tonight, I talked to Sensei and told her that I’ve been thinking a LOT about coming onboard but that our time tables and road maps needed to be in alignment. So I asked (asking…another thing we’ve been talking about in the blogosphere!) what the time table was for Professor (her husband and owner) to open his new school. Twelve to eighteen months.
How serendipitous…that’s my time table to bail from that stale, soul-less job of mine!
Hi Peggy,
The Universe has a wonderful sense of timing, right?
Well, first of all, congratulations on the martial arts gig! Yay!
My advice to you….just do what feels right and follow what the Universe is showing you. Things happen for a reason (as you know) and you just have to trust it.
As for money, it will come in some way or form. Trust me on that…when you go with the flow….life has a way of taking to you to the right place.
Dearest Nadia,
“Things happen for a reason (as you know) and *you just have to trust it*.”
I do. You are right! Thank you for the gentle nudge!
Goodness. You are stating what the Universe wants me to hear right NOW.
“What am I saying that’s in direct opposition to what I’m actually doing?” That is such a good question, I think that I will blog about that this week, and link back to you of course.
I am completely at a juncture like you are… “How do I go from making X to making half of X?” And the good/bad news is that we just bought a new house. So making half of X is really a big factor, but I know also that there is NOTHING in the area I live that could possibly pay me X. What to do?
I want so desperately to be on my own terms, to do what I really feel called to do, but how? And I act as if the more I say it the more it will come true (well, I do believe that you do need to speak what is in your soul in order for the Universe to open up to you…).
You have given me much to chew on today…. thank you for that!
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Erin,
I’m glad we can chew on this together because that means I’m not alone!
I’m going to take some really big deep belly breaths and let my inner knower guide me!
Hi Peggy!
How delightful that the Universe is throwing you what you said you wanted! There is always (been there!) some little detail, some little stupid thing that seems to partner with getting what we want in our face and in your case,it’s money. (Not that money is “little”!) This is so par for the course it’s almost as comical as it is predictable.
All is well, my dear one. You know that. And you are blessed with a totally supportive partner! Go for it! The Universe will, as always I believe, work out the details if we just let go of our fears.
Hugs,
suZen
Hi SuZen! Gosh but you are right! The tiny glitch is par for the course and very predictable! I shoulda guessed it would be money…and I do have to say that something happened today at my j.o.b. that hammered home that it is time to leave.
Blessings to you my friend for a SPLENDID day!
I left a job of 11 years, where I was moving up and being noticed, to move to another job for MORE $$. So, not worth it! By the time I realized my mistake, It was too late.
I do feel I learned some valuable lessons. It will strengthen me in my future.
You have been gifted a time table to strengthen you. YOU will succeed. I have no doubt.
Hi Angelia! As I sit in the stew of my struggle (hmmmm…blog post title next week!) I’ve realized that Something New is Happening and I can’t push or nudge my way through. As my husband said to me this morning, “be nice at work today…it’s a means to an end.”
Oh Peggy,
Yay for you! The Universe listened to your heart and answered…and you’ve been working so diligently toward these goals, it seems like a direct answer. But…those voices and doubts….
You are so talented and gifted I imagine the world contains much for you. I think you already know your answers but perhaps you’d just like reassurance–this whole community would unanimously agree that you have what it takes to do whatever it is your heart wants and be successful in all of the ways you wish. It all truly works as it’s supposed to. I hope you find peace within your excitement!
As for me, I don’t have an “excuse” but sometimes I’m sure very clever about making them:) Thank you for pointing out exactly what I needed to hear!
Hi Joy! I think you hit the nail on the head for me. As bull headed and stubbornly optimistic as I am, I do desire a little reassurance from time to time. But…I realized that I was looking externally for that reassurance. I must go confidently down my path because as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies WITHIN us.”
Thank you for reassuring me…and brightening my day!
Peggy,
I believe you are ready. Don’t you? I agree with Nadia, don’t worry about the money. That’s your ego trying to discourage you. It’s lining up for you and it’s time to step up and take the reins of your dream. Rock on! And congratulations.
Hi Tess! I am ready…and I’m boldly marching in the direction of my intention. I feel the desire burning brightly and I’m ready to “banish all fears and never think of backsliding!” Thank you for your vote of confidence. Wow!
UGH. I’m so going to have to do this whole NaNoWriMo…I already feel the pressure…
I know you can do it. You’re one of THE MOST self-motivated people I’ve ever met…and that’s saying something.
DO IT! We can be writing buddies!
Hey you too, and DJ Kirby too,I signed up! My daughter is going to sign up too. I have no idea how it all works. I did join the DFW network. Help! I’m angeliasims
Ang – I’ll go look for you!!
I’m feeling you here. I think I mentioned in a comment before here that I have a business venture in mind I would *love* to try. But I’m scared. I’m not the primary breadwinner of our household, but I have a good job and I enjoy it and don’t want to give it up. I also have two children who are my first priorities.
I can’t do it all. There’s just not enough hours. So it comes down to drop the blog or drop the idea.
So far, I’ve been blogging. We’ll see what happens next.
Hi Carolyn!
One thing that I’m learning about being afraid of the next step is that the fear brings us to courage.
Another thing I’m slowly coming to realize is that we have a hard time letting go of things that aren’t ours or have already left. Is the job really yours? Or is a position that belongs to the company and you just happend to fill it right now?
What would happen if you all of a sudden lost it?
I do hear you on the “I can’t do it all” – things have a time and a place. Maybe it’s simply “not right now.”
Or maybe it’s about cleaning out the clutter so that you can make the time for both your blog and your idea.
Hi There
Loved your post on writing and how the universe has set you in line to enter a new phase. I have been keeping a journal for 35 yrs now, making excuses on why I haven’t put it on paper.
Exactly one year ago Oct 30 , I lost my job. Thought this was the end of my world. I soon realized having time to myself that it is a blessing in disguise, I have set up my blog and lost some weight. Have also put some ideas and set up a corner for writing in my home. I would have never guessed if you asked me last year if this was where I would be I would have laughed. Actually cry, that is what I did for weeks near months..lied in bed as the victim!
Thanks so much for your touching post. Cheers
Hi Roberta!
Congratulations on seeing your job loss as an opportunity! I remember the first time I ever got laid off…it was a horrible time, but I realized there were more important things than who I worked for…and thus began my quest for meaningful, purposeful work!
Thanks for stopping by today – I look forward to getting to know you and reading your blog!
Peggy
Congratulations, Peggy! That’s so fantastic! I love how you stated what you wanted, and then BOOM! It showed up. Wow! You’re an awesome manifester, and what’s more that timetable seems pretty darn good, from the looks of it. Holy cats!
I think the energy of the Universe right now is asking those of us with a light to share to SHARE THAT LIGHT. Take a leap, follow our inner calling, and let the Universe take care of us in ways that our conscious minds can’t always fathom. The train is leaving the station on this — now is the time. I give you so much credit for living your life the way you do. You’re awesome, and inspire, and now you’ll be teaching people a beautiful art.
Go for it!
Hi Megan!
Be careful what I wish for, right?
Seriously, this isn’t the first time the Universe has delivered something so soon after I’ve written it down with *clarity!*
I’m eager, I’m willing, I’ve found my purposeful and meaningful work. I LOVE teaching life lessons through yoga and martial arts. I love growing, collaborating, being creative, and putting the possible out there for everyone to see that yes, you, too can manifest your destiny!