But so are the personal milestones. For me it was getting certified to teach yoga and earn my first degree black belt in Thai Kickboxing. I achieved both in the same year.

These days, with my focus on my own personal fitness, I achieved my first milestone.

On January 3, 2012 I started the Body By Vi 90 Day Challenge.

January 3, 2012 - 169lbs, 38", 38", 44"

This is me 30 days later

Day 30 - 163lbs, 37," 33 1/2," 41"

I went shopping on Sunday – Chico’s and JC Penny. I didn’t even look at size 12. Everything I tried on in a 10 fit. I probably shouldn’t have cleaned out the sales rack because I’m not stopping at a size 10.

I went home and as I was making space for my new clothes, I noticed two dresses with tags still attached. One of the dresses I bought to go to Key West last year. It didn’t fit. I couldn’t button it across my stomach. Guess what I can do?

It BUTTONS All the Way Up!

And this dress…I love this dress. When I ordered it (a size 12), I couldn’t get it to zip all the way up. Frustrated. I almost sent it back. But I love this dress. I tried it on and guess what I can do?

It Zips All the Way Up!

My size 12′s are too big. Size 10 fits comfortably. I can’t wait to say hello to Size 8 again. I said goodbye to 6lbs of unwanted weight and I kicked 10 total inches of unhealthy fat to the curb. I’m more determined than ever to rock the 90 Day Challenge.

Who wants to join me?

After I got past the stink, I remembered how the heat grows on you. I breathed it in and let it linger inside and out. It tickled my skin and flushed my face.  Two thoughts raced through my mind. “What am I doing here?” and “Why isn’t that man in front of me wearing a shirt?”

I looked around the heated room. More people were showing up and saving their spots with their yoga mats. Teresa was smart – we got there early so we could snag the spot closest to the wall. I only had to contend with one person next to me instead of two. I do the same thing in my regular yoga class as well. It makes me wonder how yogic is being a creature of habit?

Where was I? Oh yes. I was looking around the room. I couldn’t help but notice the other half dressed people. Men with no shirts. Girls in yoga bathing suits. Maybe I’m old. Maybe I’m fat. Maybe I’m closed minded but for Pete’s sake, put a shirt on. I don’t want to see your belly button.

Half way through class I wished, oh how I wished, that I wore a yoga bathing suit. I was dying in my capris sweat pants and I soaked through my tank top. I didn’t care if the girl next to me had to look at my flabby belly. I was hotter than hot and dripping rivers of sweat onto my mat. Note to self: Next time wear less clothing.

What exactly did I get out of this class? Why would anyone put themselves through 90 minutes of yoga in 105 degree heat?  After I got over myself and my internal crotchetiness I remembered how much I loved doing hot yoga. It gives you that feeling of being wrung out and cleansed from the inside out. My muscles were lengthened and strengthened. My spine was flexed and twisted to release toxins and stress. I felt stronger, taller, and completely blissed out.

When class was over and I was laying in shavansana, I didn’t have to remember how good hot yoga felt. I got to experience it all over again for the first time.

A couple of years ago I adopted a word for the new year ahead. Last year my word was focus. Looking back at 2011, I think I did a fine job of focusing on what I wanted to accomplish so that I wouldn’t go bonkers while my husband was deployed. This year my word is

FITNESS

Life happens. I got older. I got fatter. I got (ahem) lazy. Richard came home from deployment and I was no longer eating salad in a bag. He loves to cook. I love to eat. We have a love-love relationship. Except my metabolism came to a screeching halt. My energy went south for vacation (and forgot to take me along.) I became a slug.

Too make matters worse, my boobs are woefully, pathetically, and embarrassingly lopsided. Most of you know that when I had breast cancer I surrendered my left breast. In its place is a lovely little implant. And right now, compared to my right breast it is teeny, oh so teeny tiny. I want my matching set back!

The new year approached, I knew what I had to do and the word Fitness chose me. Not just physical fitness but mental fitness, emotional fitness, and spiritual fitness. You could say I want to be well rounded.

To cover all my bases, I’ve implemented the following changes (and one reason I’m writing this post now as opposed to January 1, is because once in a row doesn’t count)

I’m on the 90 Day Fitness challenge at the dojo.

I’m on the 90 Day Body By Vi Challenge (super cool, super good!)

I’m on my yoga mat every single morning for 30 minutes BEFORE I go to work

I’m at the dojo 3 times a week for Muay Thai Kickboxing

I’ve eliminated coffee and alcohol from my diet. (And let me just add right here that I already notice a HUGE difference in how I feel. For now, no more Chianti or Malbec and good-bye Melita European Dark Roast. Hello green tea and lemon water…

I already feel skinnier

I want to look good. I want to feel good. I wish there was there was a slugbegone spray mist I could simply squirt on myself but this Fitness thing is all about being unlazy in all my habits.

In an effort to be honest, I started the year off weighing 169 lbs or 172 lbs depending on which scale I stood on, and my measurements are super wonky – 38, 38, 44. My goal is to be 135 lbs, 36, 26, 36. Once I reach that, I’ll reassess.

If you’d like to learn more about the Body By Vi Challenge, if you’d like to join me with a Challenge of your own, I invite you to check out my page. After five days of using the Visalus products, I’m so impressed that I signed on as a distributor. I’ll be posting my results every two weeks. With photos and everything.

It happens to the best of us.

And so I started thinking. How do I create room to breathe? How do I create the space to step back and take a deep breath?

The last time I felt overwhelmed in my own home I noticed the feeling first. I allowed awareness of the feeling to push back the ego who wanted to say nothing and keep plodding along. With awareness comes my ability to speak up. So I did. But this time, it was my husband who noticed and asked if I was “feeling lost in my house.”

At first I brushed it off with a laugh. Who me? No way. I’m not lost. I’m just irritable, crabby, moody, and distracted. I hate when he’s right.

Sometimes even I don’t pick up on my own feelings. After an hour or so with my journal, I realized I was in much need of Breathing Space. The constant stream of people in and out, not to mention three generations living under one roof, coupled with an out of town house guest, finally got to me.

The guest left yesterday and there’s one more large family gathering tomorrow night. Well, it’s technically the start of Family Dinner night, but this time, there will be a lot more people showing up for beef stroganoff and sour dough bread. I’m armed with awareness that I am peopled out but I also know that I can breathe anywhere. Not autonomic breathing, but conscious breathing, or pranyama. My breath is my life force and with it I can control stress and reduce tension.

To help myself find my own breathing space, I cleaned my room and rolled out my yoga mat. My intention is simple: to reignite my morning yoga practice with lots of sun salutations and breath work.

I’d love to hear from you. What are you doing to create Breathing Space for you?

Before we get dressed up for parties and ring in the new year, can I ask a few questions? I appreciate your indulgence.

• What went right for you in 2011?
• Did you try something new?
• Did you fall in love?
• Did you break a bad habit?
• Did you accomplish a goal?
• Did you make any significant changes for yourself?
• What are you thankful for in 2011?

As I look in the rear view mirror, 2011 was an amazing year. Although my husband was deployed in the Middle East for most of the year, we met in Key West for a very romantic 15 day vacation in March. Little did I know that six weeks later he’d be home under less than ideal circumstances, but he was home to be with his mom when she passed away.

Dinner at Salute - Key West - 2011

In May I walked a marathon in a day to raise money for breast cancer research. A few blisters and rain didn’t bother me and I got to walk with Team BellaDonna – a great group of women and survivors.

Celebrating Mile 26!

I took a trip out west to see my youngest daughter, Christina, in Lake Tahoe. We took a mom and daughter trip to Yosemite and San Francisco. We stayed with my Aunt Peg on her ranch in Lodi, California. I’m pretty sure my daughter found Nirvana while riding my aunt’s horse, Champ.

Christina and Champ - Blue Moon Ranch - May 2011

I attended my brother Christopher’s wedding in June and welcomed my new sister-in-law, Letty, into our family.

I ran…err…rather I slogged through the mud fest known as the Warrior Dash. Yup. I did! And I did it with my martial arts sistas Jaime, Laurie H., Laura B., Laurie N., Laura F., and Faye.

That's me in the muddy skirt and olive green tank top - Last Obstacle - Warrior Dash

I celebrated my Aunt Cal’s 80th birthday in grand style on Grand Isle, Vermont in July. I love the time I spend with my cousins and my 2nd family in Vermont.

Happy Birthday Aunt Cal!

I welcomed my second grand baby and first grandson into our family. Caleb Murphy Russell was born on July 6, 2011. He’s six months old now and rolling all over the place!

Caleb Murphy Russell

I also welcomed my youngest nephew, Brayden Michael Ott, into the family. Baby B was born on July 4 – a month early, but boy oh boy has he caught up! Caleb and B are the same weight and height!

Brayden and Caleb being held by each other's mommies

After being happily unemployed for 5 months, I started a new job in July. So far so good. I like it.

In August, I welcomed my husband, Richard, home for good. And I checked out for awhile so I could check in with him. I love our bubble.

He's really home....

My daughter Jessica was home for the summer and I love that I re-introduced her to martial arts. She went to Thai Kickboxing classes with me and I could tell she was just as hooked as I am. Jessica also adores her niece and nephew.

Auntie Jessica with new nephew Caleb and niece Olivia

Richard and I spent Labor Day weekend at the beach in Maine. We celebrated our 5th anniversary by attending the Scottish Highland Games at Loon Mountain in mid September.

Rick and CJ playing in the waves - Ocean Park, Maine

My good friend Teresa and I started writing our book. For real. We each committed to writing 1,200-1,500 words per week. And we’re tackling all the issues and challenges we’ve encountered as stepmoms and how we handled them – mistakes and all.

November and December have been a whirlwind. Richard and I have been busy laying new tile in the kitchen, changing out the electric stove for a gas stove, and finally, pulling up the old carpet and putting in hardwood flooring in our living room. The house I bought in 2003 as a single mom with two teenage daughters is finally becoming home. I think I’ll stay awhile.

My new floor - thanks honey!

Christmas came and went. The weekend was a happy blur of good food and joy with friends and family. Having my husband home for good – priceless.

Merry Christmas!

Before you turn your back on 2011, I hope you will take a moment to reflect on all that was good and right with your year and I hope you’ll share with a comment!

Blessings to you and your family,

Peggy

Cactus Blooms by Peggy Nolan

Why do I blog? Why do I write? Why do I keep putting my thoughts and my experiences on paper and in cyber space? This is one reason.

I received this email the other day:

Dear Peggy,

I stumbled across your site while typing in “change your life after cancer”

I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 21, I’ve had a mascetomy, a stem cell transplant,a lobectomy, lots of radiation, chemo, and just the other day a hysterectomy! Honey I am tired!!!! I’m 36 now.

I really like how positive your site is. I told my husband that I am done. He’s really not taking this well and said I was “giving up”

Well I’m not dead! I told him and I just am sick of being sick. I’m going to do things that I want to do and just have a good time.

The thing is is that I enjoy living and I’m unafraid of dying. I equally welcome both. Life is not guaranteed and even though I’ve have cancer, I’ve also had so much fun in life.

Thank you for your blog and I’m happy I found it.

Blessings-
Tasha

***

Thank you Tasha. And Thank You to anyone who is struggling with something yet still living life on their terms. In the dojo we say “resistance makes you stronger.” In life, the struggle makes you stronger. Just ask the caterpillar after it becomes a butterfly.

What exactly gets me moving? Muay Thai Kickboxing. In a former life, I’m positive I was Crouching Tiger or maybe Bruce Lee. I love martial arts. I love wrapping my wrists tight and gloving up. It doesn’t matter how tired I am, how cranky I am, or even if I dragged myself kicking and screaming to class because once I step into the dojo and bow in, I’m ready to go. Unless I’m dead, dying, bleeding, or on vacation, I hate missing class.
Martial Arts isn’t just exercise. It’s a lifestyle choice. Muay Thai is my martial arts discipline. I’m fascinated by the precision movements that can knock an opponent out in seconds, like a well placed elbow strike to the jaw, a powerful cross-hook combo, or a targeted kick to the head. I’ve learned how to use my body in ways a treadmill can never teach you. If you’re ever on the receiving end of one of my elbow strikes, you won’t just feel my elbow hit you but you’ll be pushed backwards from the force as I unleash the power from my shoulder. After nearly five years of training, I’m better than when I started. I’m stronger, faster, leaner, and yes, I have a mean left hook.

I started training in early 2007. It was something I thought my husband, stepson, and I could do together. Only they took traditional karate classes while I was happy to kick and punch my way to a healthier me. After the first month, my husband decided it wasn’t for him. Junior, my stepson, wasn’t always with us, so only I continued on. I piddle farted around for the first 12 weeks. I missed my first belt promotion because I didn’t have enough classes in the first eight weeks. I needed four more classes and I had to wait until the next testing period to earn my yellow belt. I didn’t get serious about Muay Thai until I promoted to my orange belt. That’s when something switched in my head. Or maybe that’s when the addiction took hold.

I remember looking up how much time and how many classes I needed for each belt promotion from orange to black belt. I mapped it out on my calendar and vowed to test for each belt on time. I began counting classes and arranging other parts of my life around the test schedule. When I started I couldn’t do a push up. By the time I tested for my first degree black belt, I could do 75 pushups in less than five minutes. Along the way to black belt success, there were many steps along the way – purple, blue, high blue, green, high green 3rd degree brown, 2nd degree brown, and recommended black belt. From white belt to 1st degree black belt it took me three years and nine months. Instead of focusing on the amount of time it would take, once I understood what each requirement and each step was, I focused on what I needed to do for the next belt promotion.

Recommended black belt had the longest time requirement – 10 months. But instead of thinking, “geesh, 10 months,” I thought in 4 week increments. Every four weeks I tested for a tip on my belt. I needed ten tips to be eligible to test and promote to 1st degree.
I began my black belt journey shortly after my 44th birthday and I achieved black belt success a few weeks before I turned 47. My friend Maureen promoted with me…she was 63. For those who say, “I’m too old,” that’s nothing more than excuse.

Along the way, I re-introduced my stepson to Muay Thai. Junior took class with me for nearly two years. It helped him with discipline, focus, and it gave him an outlet for some of his anger and teen angst. My son-in-law took class with me for about a year. He loved the workouts but duty called and he deployed to the Middle East for a year. When my oldest daughter, Jessica, came home for the summer, I took her to class with me. Jessica rediscovered her love for martial arts and quickly became addicted. She’s looking for a dojo in Dublin, Ireland where she currently lives. Recently, I’ve encouraged my youngest step-daughter, Katie, to try Muay Thai. She was nervous at first, but after her first few classes she quickly became hooked.

That's me in the black - learning a Chi-Na hand trap

What I love most about training is the people I train with. We don’t just train inside the dojo. My kickboxing sistas and I meet on Saturday mornings at the local high school track and we walk, jog, or run for 30-40 minutes before we go to class. We push each other and hold each other accountable to our health and wellness goals. Inside the dojo, the pushing, encouraging, and cheering goes to a whole new level. When I think I can’t do one more pushup, one more v-up, or throw one more jab-cross combo, someone’s pushing me to dig deep. When I’m ready to give up plank, Sensei kindly reminds me that I can do anything for ten more seconds.

Me and Kru Toy Sityodtong

I am honored to be part of Tim Barchard’s Professional Martial Arts Academy. We have the best instructors and we have access to train with the best of the best like Kru Toy, Professor Daniel Gracie and Kru Mark DellaGrotte. I have made amazing friends. My PMA family supported me while my husband was deployed. Some days I wonder how I got so lucky but then I remember that I took the first step when I walked through the doors back in February 2007.

Peggy with Kru Mark and Professor Daniel

What first step will you take to become a better you?

“If you want to have more, you have to become more. For things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to become better.” ~ Jim Rohn

So often we’re looking for others to become more, for others to change, and for others to be better when it’s ourselves that must become more, change, and become better.

If you want to have more money, better relationships, a bigger house, a new car, you have to become more by investing in yourself. You have to become more by going back to school, hiring a coach, getting out of your comfort zone, try new things, face your fears.

If you want things to change, you have to change first. This is so basic. So simple. But so many people don’t want to change. They expect other people to change while they go about acting and behaving badly. Instead of blaming others or complaining about others, work on yourself. Focus your attention and invest your energy on become the best you ever.

If you want things to become better, you have to become better. Want a better relationship with your spouse? Become a better spouse. Want a better relationship with your kids? Become a better parent. Want a better dog? Become a better dog owner. Want to be a better cook? Take a cooking class. Want to become a healthier you? Commit to physical activity and eating better every day.

No one can do your mental pushups for you but you. If you want a better life, it really is up to you.

Are you up for the challenge?

Here’s another great article to read

“Death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life’s change agent.” Steve Jobs

Nearly eight years ago I was diagnosed with an illness that makes many women shudder. No one wants to hear the words, “you have breast cancer,” least of all on a dark, cold night six weeks after your fortieth birthday. Still reeling from the end of my nineteen year marriage, I felt that I had been thrown a test before I knew what the lesson was. I was a divorced, single parent with my oldest daughter in college and my youngest daughter a sophomore in high school. I had just bought a new home and I worked full-time. So many what if’s ran through my mind.

• Who was going to take care of my girls if I died?
• Would I see my youngest graduate?
• Would I see my oldest be the third person in our family to graduate college?
• Would I live to go wedding dress shopping with them?
• Would I watch them get married and have children of their own?
• Would I hold my grand babies in my arms?
• Would I ever know what it feels like to have a man truly, madly, deeply love me?
• Would I experience all the places in the world I had not yet seen?

The Author After Her Head Shaving Party – June 2004

Through two surgeries (one to remove my left breast and 26 lymph nodes), chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and reconstructive surgery, I never once asked, “why me?” Instead, I remember asking “what else am I supposed to learn?” Steve Jobs once said, “The benefit of death is you know not to waste life living someone else’s choices.” And that’s the lesson I learned.

Before cancer, I thought I was making good choices and doing the right things. Only the good choices and right things very rarely had anything to do with me. I was hardly ever on my priority list. I was the “good” girl: living my life based on the expectations of others.

During and after cancer treatment, I realized that I had to put myself first. No one was going to advocate for me better than me. No one was going to value me, make time for me, love me, or deserve me unless I valued myself, made time for myself, loved myself, or deemed myself worthy. I quit some awful habits.

• I stopped being a people pleaser.
• I stopped saying yes to everyone and everything.
• I stopped doing things that were unimportant in my life.
• I stopped looking for love in all the wrong emotional places.
• I stopped seeking the approval of others.

I learned better habits:

• I made healthier food choices.
• I started practicing yoga and meditation.
• I learned to reduce and manage every day stress.
• I embraced who and what I am.
• I began to focus on the people and things that were important in my life.

A funny thing happened on the day I signed my living will and DNR paperwork. Death no longer scared me. I remember walking out of the notary’s office feeling this amazing sense of calm and peacefulness. Knowing that I could die, and will die someday, gave me a brand new perspective and lease on life. I promised myself that I would live my life instead of waiting for it to happen or allowing the expectations and choices of others to dictate my life. In the famous words from the poem Invictus, I became the “captain of my fate, the master of my destiny.”

A lot has happened since my original breast cancer diagnosis in January 2004.

• I watched both my daughters graduate.
• I met the love of my life and married him!
• My husband gifted me with two stepdaughters and two stepsons.
• I’ve gone wedding dress shopping with three of my four daughters.
• I’ve witnessed two daughters get married.
• I’ve held my grand babies in my arms (and still do!).
• I became a certified yoga teacher.
• I became a first degree black belt in Muay Thai Kickboxing.
• I learned how to play golf!
• I’ve traveled to Mexico, Italy, Turks & Caicos, Ireland, the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, Spain, Key West, Lake Tahoe, Yosemite, San Francisco, Seattle, and I’m looking forward to an eight day hike on the West Coast Trail on Vancouver Island in June 2012.

I’ve done so much more but I think you get the picture. Don’t wait for a life threatening illness to learn what I learned. Live YOUR life now – not someone else’s.

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs

Mother Nature’s Last Hoorah

Autumn leaves
Like the Fourth of July
a cacophony of color

Crimson red
Starburst Yellow
Fiery orange

Remind me
Winter is coming
and wind blows cold

Soon
There will be
Leafless trees
And piles of snow

Until then
Let me enjoy

The pumpkin harvest
Apple picking
Planting mums

and

the vibrant display
of Mother Nature’s
Last Hoorah

Olivia Apple Picking 9/11

Pa and Caleb at the Apple Orchard

Autumn in New England

Pumpkins

Kissin' momma in the Apple Tree